Friday, January 21, 2011

Dating

I'm sure most of you know that I've been on my fair share of dates since Christmas time. I have to say that I hadn't realized how tiring and draining they can be. And these were all okay dates if not good ones.

One good point about all this dating is that I'm definitely past Chris. It's funny how that all works. I feel good about where I am. A bit tired from the journey and ready for a rest.

The last guy I'd been dating for a couple weeks and he's a really nice guy. We got a long well, Christian, SUPER attractive (I know I thought so but most of my friends did too ;) ), had taught english in Japan for a year, liked similar likes and disliked similar dislikes. Many things about him I appreciated; he would text and call me regularly, he usually initiated our meet ups, he was funny, etc. But there was something always missing. . . I still can't put my finger on it but I never truly felt a heart connection. There was definitely chemistry on both sides but my heart and mind just wasn't in it.

Strange, huh?

When I called to talk to him about ending our dating he said that he'd come to realize there is a difference between knowing stuff about a person and knowing a person. And to some extent I think that is the issue. I knew a lot of things about him but I didn't feel I knew him or was known by him.

It ended well. He understood my reasoning and said he understood why "I" would chose this path. I think that was a bit of a punch in the arm but I can't blame him, I was the one ending this before he seemed to have wanted it to end. Though he was a bit passive on the topic. No arguing it over. No, "just give it some time". Which I'm bummed by but glad at the same time. the bummed side of me is just being vain and egotistic but the glad side of me is relieved.

He isn't the one for me and as my parents say, "there are plenty of fish in the sea".

While I was with the last guy I took a personality test and this is what they said I was when it came to relationships.


"Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are a window shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You’re a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it’s likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You’ve had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there’ll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you’re especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who’ll love you back with equal fire, and someone you’ve grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you’re drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs."


Crazy huh??

1 comment:

Natalie and Lily said...

Boy, hope you got your money back from that survey. The obviously don't know what they're talking about! ;) What about just being friends w/ someone first before trying to make something of it? Not necessarily a prospective husband, but a very good friend w/ similar experiences. Hmm.. very interesting.. Makes me tired just thinking about it.