Sunday, December 30, 2007

Oregon Winter

Mmmmmmmm . . . .what to say. . so here is my latest update. I am again doing an all nighter because I can't fall asleep/ don't want to sleep for 2 hours and then get up but I may. . . tomorrow my family is flying to Hawaii for a cruise!!! I'm sooooo excited. Actually I'd be happy staying here but it will be fun and I will be able to see friends in Hawaii too. Hopefully.

Update on Japan. . . . well, my loan company has said they will work with me about my payments so I'm not too worried about that BUT I still need to finda job when I return to Japan sooo. .. if I can find a job in January I will stay in Japan. I guess I need to process all my paper work a month before my visa expireds soooooo . . . .it will be Lord willing. We'll see. Please pray for me. I'd like to stay another year and it looks like it would work out if I can find a job to carry me till April. I have a company I would like to work with in April BUT I have to find a job till April. And my visa is going to run out in February. SO. . . again . . .Lord willing.

Here are some more pictures from today.


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my friend Lindsay with my glasses on.

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I got to have lunch with my friend Stephen from Santa Barbara.

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Lindsay and I went to the Red Thai Room in Silverton.

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our pretty drinks :)


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Craigy poo and Noomy (or like I like to say Croomy)

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We then headed to teh Silvergrill to listen to some live music and sip on cider

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Me and my cider

By Oregonians. Love you all.

Post Christmas

Hello friend and family!


I just have a bunch of pics from after Christmas and wanted to share them with you.

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Here is my friend, Aubrey, and her family drinking Yurba Matte in a circle like good Paraguayans do :)

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Isn't Dee cute

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Isn't Austin. . so. . . .mmmm.. yeah


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SNOW!!!!

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Oregon

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Me in a coon skin hat

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Isn't the dog cute :)

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Austin as a cowboy in the snow

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my adorable niece!!!!

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My friend Katie Saunders!!!

My friend Lindsay and I decided to drive up to P-town. . .

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Here is the new sky lift to OHSU.

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A Mt. Possy in the city.


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Pioneer Square: To transport the tree they needed to remove the branches and reattach them after it was set up. The limbs were bolted into the trunk of the tree.

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We then went to the Portland City Grill for Happy Hour. It was amazing to be up on the 30th floor.

DAY TIME:
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NIGHT TIME:

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LIndsay being Anti social and her Dad being an old fart ( you can't see him he's on the other line. . . and wouldn't come.)

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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Love

I was talking to a dear friend of mine(Sherrie Gillette) at my sister's wedding on the 23rd. we were talking about love and I told her that I have been pondering the idea of chosing who we love or if there is a choice. . .

So first off. . . God is love.

(oh, and it's almost 7am and I couldn't fall asleep. . . so if it's a bit delirious I blame the lack of sleep or the nail polish fumes in my room ;) )

He's all love. . . and the greatest love. . Agape love. Right? right.

So second. . .recently I haven't been so loving. . . most of my family already knows this. . . I got in an argument with my sister on Christmas about stuff and when I was apologizing I realized that most of my apology was "I , me, this is how I felt" and not "you or how do you feel" . My apology kind of sucked but she still forgave me for being a bitch. Thank God eh?

many things in the past few days since I came back have made me think more about my life and how much I'm holding on to my l ife and those I treasure in it. (again if t his gets off topic sorry)

On the 22nd I found out I was layed off, on the 23rd my sister got married, on the 25th I found out my job in April may not be available if I can't find someone to renew my visa in February, my boyfriend hasn't written me since I came home (not much new really. . .he sucks at emails but . . still), I still need to figure out my loans, etc. . . I lay on my bed with my mom and my niece crying wondering why life was suddenly sooooo hard. . . my mom said that's just how life goes sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's easy. Jasmine just smiled at me and gave me a hug which helped too. I love her soo much. After they headed to bed I couldn't sleep. . . so i started to journal (after watching a movie and writing on line).

I realized that I've been holding on sooo tightly to my life and not holding it with an open palm to the Lord. I was holding tight to: Tatsuya, Japan, my job, my homelife, my sister, etc. Not allowing God to move through my tight hands gripping my life as much as it could . . .trying to force things to happen or not happen. And if God is love and I wasn't allowing him into what is going on in my life then think of all the Non-love in my life. I realized again that once you let go and let God decide it makes life a lot easier and less stressful. I know there are starving children in the world and people are dying daily but I know that what is going on in my life is important to God. My feelings and emotions are important to him too. He cares what I think and feel and cares about me. He understands me. Even when I don't.

Oh, but what I was going to say about Sherrie's and my conversation was this. . . I was thinking about Tatsuya tonight becuase I wanted to talk to him about how i was feeling and going through and just to hear from him but I don't know if it's our emails or if he's just super busy or just being his old oblivious to emailing me self. . . but either way i was bummed that I haven't heard from him. I started to think about his and my relationship and reevaluated it. . . I still love him and it made me think . . .do we chose who we fall in love with?

i think we don't get a choice in the matter but we do have the choice of letting God lead you and guide you and rule over that love. What I mean is that I love Tatsuya but it doesn't mean I will chose to stay with him because if God does ask me to let go i will. . .why? because I love God and want him to be my guide. I love Tatsuya but I love God more. And you know what? God loves me and He loves Tatsuya WAY more then I do. . .and He wants the best for us both. Right now. . . he, Tatsuya, seems like the greatest thing since the washer and drier combo . . . but you try washing yoru clothes by hand for 10 months and then think about what love is. . .j/k. . .I ment to say that he seems like the best now and maybe he is but if he's not I don't need to worry because the Lord will bring something better a long for the both of us.

Anyways. . I'm tired now that it's 7:30 so I'm going to take a nap till 9am and then head to my massage with Lindsay Allen (which I recommend for anyone who needs a massage in oregon).

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." I John 4:7

Again. . .I pray that Tatsuya would know this Love and that I too would know Love better.

Christmas 2008

Merry Christmas Past! It's about 2:15 am right nwo but it's 7:16pm in Japan. . . and I took two siestas today. . . once after breakfast (I didn't stuff myself. . .just 1 cinnamin roll. . .not homemade) and then after dinner where I did stuff myself a bit :) Speaking of. .I want a cookkie. . hold on. . .okay I'm back. . . here goes Christmas.

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My house in Oregon



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Actually this is Christmas Eve. . .traditional line of us after puting on our christmas pajamas and then we'll hang stockings.

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Glen and I hanging stockings!!!!

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The Christmas Tree. . .the presents

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My niece, Jasmine, openin up her stocking

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More stockings
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Me opening my stocking

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My brother, jason, and his wife, Anna, opening up their stockings

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Anna got socks :)

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my brother, glen, and his girlfriend, Alexis, opening up their stockings

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Grandma Seese opening her stocking


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jason with his dog (porter)

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Anna and Jason giving their present to Porter (it was cow femur with meat still on it. . .yuck)

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me and my dog . . he's getting old

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Grandma got books for Christmas!!!

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Jasmine and I had a snowball fight against all the bad guys who were; Glen, Alexis, jason, and Anna.

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Traditional Glen look on Christmas

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Glen opening his gift from me. . sake pitcher

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glen opening his his dried squid

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Me and beth

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My dad. . yes he's santa clause

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Jason, Anna, and Grandma

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how cute is my niece on her new bouncy ball

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Glen, me and Anna

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yes, i look like a cucumber

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Beth in jasmine's tutu

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me picking Glen's nose

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Beth and Erik opening their nativity

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Jasmine with her rolly car bag and her back pack

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Dad in his usual Christmas position. . .with his dog in his usual Christmas position


A series of funny moments. . .

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Jason, glen, and Paul all got these from grandma and they were a HIT! Jasmine loved it.