The Night I died

Last night I dreamt I was in an extremely tall building.

It was not only tall but had a round oval shape on the top.

Kind of like the Space Needle except it felt higher and larger.

At the top of this building was a work out center.

And in my dream I was on a group tour of it.

The people with me I knew but I can’t place a name or a face to them.

Just dream people.

The building began to sway and I looked around.

But everyone kept doing what they were doing.

No one noticed or thought anything of it.

However, as the building swayed and swayed and swayed.

The sways became stronger and stronger.

And all of a sudden, someone flew through the air

Panic ensued.

Then it happened.

The top broke off and I knew I was about to die.

I wondered as I hurdled towards earth if it would be painful.

Falling didn't hurt, Falling felt wonderful.

Like someone brushing a feather across my body.

Even as that question went through my mind, I knew there would be no pain.

It would be instantaneous.

And then, I died.

It was black and I couldn't see my body.

Yet I could feel a warmth spread over me.

It was warm but it was painful.

Like when you put a heating pack on your neck

It’s too hot but its soothing.

Though I knew I was dead I was somehow able to stand.

And was whisked away. Sucked into a void.

When I came out the other side I was in my parents’ house, in the library.

I could see my parents but I can’t remember if they could see me.

I looked around the room at all the familiarity.

The desk, the books, the sad plant sitting in the corner of the window.

My body became warm and I knew I was dying all over again.

And before I could look at my parents, it turned dark.

And I was sucked into the void once more.

I woke up startled and wondered if I had a stroke or a heart attack.

That I’d heard somewhere that if you fall and hit the ground that it’s really your body having a heart attack or stroke.

I freaked out a bit. It felt so real.

I remember the falling, the hitting, and the being pulled from reality.

But like most nights I quickly fell back to sleep and dreamt some more.

May our friendship last forever

May our friendship last forever

by Nicholas Gordon

May our friendship last forever;

May I sail upon your sea.

May we go through life together;

May there always be a "we."

May I be your endless sky;

May you breathe my gentle air.

May you never wonder why

Each time you look for me, I'm there.

May we be for each a smile

Like the warm, life-giving sun;

Yet when we're in pain awhile,

May our suffering be one.

May we share our special days,

The happiness of one for two;

And if we must go separate ways,

Let my love remain with you.

Glass blown Ornaments

My friend, Chris, is an amazing glass blower and has personally blown hundreds of glass ornaments for Christmas gifts. Please check out his Etsy page. He's pretty amazing and they make GREAT Christmas presents.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/62473212/glass-ornament

"It Is Good" by Kate Saunders

My dear friend, Kate Saunders, is an amazing poet and wrote this and I fell in love with it as soon as I heard it. Hope you all enjoy it too.

It Is Good

I know you’re here,

Your gentle hands

Always lifting, supporting, pushing,

As I, a simple particle dancing through the expanse

Begin my journey to become more,

To find my place in the very framework of life.

I hear your voice

In every collision of an electron and a positron,

Performing their chaotic choreography

To envelope a family of protons and neutrons.

They all spin with your voice,

Dance with your voice,

Crash and collide with your voice.

I feel you in it all;

Your presence directing and guiding

As we find our way,

Discover our purpose,

Become more and more solid,

More and more like matter,

Creating beauty,

Composing masterpieces,

Building life,

And you are there in every way

I hear you speaking your love

As we become what we will be

As we build only to crumble away

Compose only to decay,

As we divide and multiply

And constantly change position.

In every phase and cycle I hear your words:

You say, “It is good.”

Every time, every form, every generation

Of new matter, of new life,

“It is good.”

No matter whether I may be

The most inconsequential quark

Or a majestic molecule,

I hear you say of me,

“It is good.”

R.I.P Samson

Today, Samson Lewis has gone to rest with the Lord. For you who don't know who Samson is my families Boxer. My father bought him for my mother and I for Valentine's day almost 12 years ago.

Sam was one of the best dogs ever to romp on God's green earth. He was a gentle giant who loved his girls ( Natalie, Jasmine, Lily, Dahlia, and Mahala). He would let them ride on him when they were small enough and whatever way they tugged at him he'd follow. He would bark and protect his house from all that came against it; usually squires, skunks and deer.

As a Boxer, Sam was inclined towards deviousness. He loved to sneak into the bathrooms and raid the trash cans or to jump up on the counter to find newly made treats. Sam was sneaky but kind of stupid. He never learned how to cover his tracks. He was pretty honest with his doings.

I feel lucky to have had him this long. Earlier this year we had a couple scares where Sam had heart attacks and we thought he was dying. But that dog had determination. I mean, who would watch over the family, who would take care of the girls, who would chase the deer away, and who would eat all those extra tomatoes on the counter. Teddy, the little Shitzu, was too small and had bum legs. He was a good dog but mostly for warming ones lap.

Samson was a good old dog who lived a long and good life. He will be waiting for us all at the rainbow bridge with; Abby (boxer), Wanton (pug), Shotsie (keeshond), and Trinka Bear (keeshond).

The Rainbow Bridge

(inspired by Norse legend)

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.

Where the friends of man and woman do run,

When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,

Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,

Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.

Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,

Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,

Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.

All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,

Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;

Together again, both person and pet.

So they run to each other, these friends from long past,

The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,

Has turned into joy once more in each heart.

They embrace with a love that will last forever,

And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Grandma

Last weekend I went to my Great Aunt and Uncle's to take some portraits for them. My Great Uncle just finished writing a book about his father and his stories and needed a portrait for the book's inside flap.

I'm glad I work at a assisted living facility because they also asked me to take head shots of them for when they die. As they so delicately said, "Well, when one dies and at the memorial they have a big picture of the deceased at the entry." And my aunt and uncle are not a photo family. It was the first time I took photos for at a memorial.

Luckily, they also had me take some portraits of them together for Christmas cards which was much more pleasant.

Afterwards we went back to their house and my grandma came over (she lives across the street from them). We all sat around and talked about who passed at their place and I talked about the people who passed at mine. It was very interesting to hear them talk about death so candidly but I guess at their age it is a normal topic.

It reminded me of going and seeing the movie, "Up" with my best friend and her grandma (who lives at my work). When the main character's wife passed away I was in tears. I thought the movie was so sad. . . and happy but the beginning was so sad but my friend's grandma didn't think anything of it. I think she even fell asleep a bit. :)

Since my grandma was there I thought I would take some pictures of her and me. Here are the pics from that day.

Laodicea

Today at church I heard an amazing sermon on the church of Laodicea and how they lived lukewarm. It was an amazing sermon talking about how Laodicea was a wealthy city. It was known for many things like; clothing, medicine, and wealth. But the Lord tells them that they are lukewarm because of their comfort. How they are poor, blind, and naked spiritually.

It really convicted me and made me realize how lukewarm my life is and how easy it is for me to live in comfort. I don't want the "cancer of indifference" to take hold of my life. I want to live passionate and fully.

I want to live with Christ in the center of my life.

"light without sight is perpetual night"

I've decided to take a break from the ever time consuming Facebook. I could be doing so much more with my time then "staying connected" with people.

I want to change, grow, and center my life, not on myself, on God.

I want to stop living my life for my feelings but for my convictions.

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

He who overcomes, I will grant him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches"

Rev. 3: 20-22

Weddings

Today, I photographed a wedding in the Salem area. It was raining all day till it came time for the wedding and pictures. We were sooo blessed with great weather and light for photos. Here are some pics from that wedding and another.

Joke of the week

So there was this boy, Chris, who at a young age injured his eye and had to have it removed. His father being a wood worker made him a wooden eye. He sculpted it and painted it so that it would look as realistic as possible. However, growing up was still hard. All through school Chris would get teased for having an eye made of wood.

Senior year of high school Chris decided to finally go to prom. At prom he also had plucked up the courage to ask someone to dance. He had nothing to lose since he would be graduating soon and leaving high school. Well, he looked around the room and his eyes fell on Lani who happen to have a hump on her back. Lani, at the same time, too decided to ask someone dance with her for the same reasons as Chris.

She looked up and they locked eyes. Chris walked across the room and said, "would you care to dance with me?"

Lani replied, "WOULD I! WOULD I!"

He angrily said, "At least I'm not a HUNCH BACK!"

More jokes to come.

CNA

I passed my CNA test!!! I am officially a CNA now! Whoohooo!!! Can't wait to take my CNA2 so I can work in hospitals!!!

"Ambition"

"Ambition"

Fear hides behind my heart in the darkness

Not allowing it to fully grasp my heart or mind

In fear that fear itself will crush my hopes and dreams

But in pushing forward fear will always lag behind

Weird dream

Last night I had a weird dream. I can't remember the beginning but I was in some HUGE building. . . like a high school but 10x's bigger. It also had a movie theater.

I'm not sure why but there were huge animals roaming the halls. The animals weren't mean but they were big and none of the animals were recognizable as real but they could have been prehistoric.

I don't remember the exact progression but I ran into a couple that I grew up with since I was a child. Sherrie and Dave's daughter, Kate, was a childhood friend. I ran into them at the front of a movie theater. I could see the food counters and it was pretty packed. We were talking when all of a sudden we see some person flying through the air. and we see something green and tentacle like shoot out and grab another person. Fear shot through me but so did that feeling of nails on a chalkboard.

Sherrie said, "I don't want to be near here." And started to take off up some stairs but the stairs just lead us up and then down in practically the same spot. People were rushing to get away too. We ran and I remember kicking out a plastic square of a dividing wall so we could just get to the other side. It was all rushed in my dream. I called my parents and ended up finding them and some other people from my parent's church. We all ran up and found some secluded room that seemed safe.

We stayed in that room for awhile. It had a bathroom and running water. There was a group of people in that room who were from Africa and played the bongo drums and danced. I remember the night before we left the room they started to play the drums and dance. We all joined in.

The next day we packed up all our things. I don't know how we knew the monster was gone. We never fully saw it and we never heard anyone tell us it was gone. I packed up my backpack which was abnormally large. I packed up a My Little Pony cup, some disney toys, and other childish trinkets.

I don't remember what happened right after that but it then switched to a movie theater. . . the same one that the dream started out in. I ran into my friend Aubrey who was going to see some movie I didn't want to see. As I talked to her I looked up on the wall and there was poster of a new movie coming out. On the poster was the green monster with the long tentacles that had started the fear in my dream.

Jimmy

This is Jimmy, Iris' brother inlaw, who apparently will "out live" us all as Iris tells me. As the pugs brought me to Iris, Iris brought me to Jimmy. I love them all. Pugs, Iris, and Jimmy.

A month ago Jimmy gave me a beautiful bell from S. Korea. The story goes. . .

I'd planned on going to brunch with Iris and we met up a little before hand to chit chat. As we do. Jimmy came at 10:40 on the dot and walked us to the dinning room. We all ate and talked. It was a nice meal. On our way back Jimmy parted ways and headed to his place. Iris and I checked the post box and headed back to her place.

As I'm getting back to Iris' Jimmy comes up and hands me this beautiful bell (sorry for no pic). It looked like it was hanging between a gate (imagine a Japanese Tori). It was made out of some metal. . . brass maybe and it had a little hammer to ring the bell. The ring was the clearest I'd ever heard. On the bottom it had an inscription of "korea".

Jimmy told me that he'd been in the service and after WWII he'd gone back to S. Korea to pick up a group (I don't know military lingo. Sorry.) and some captain who'd stayed behind in Korea to help with trainings and other things in S. Korea. The men weren't allowed to go ashore but the Korean people came to them in little boats with trinkets to sell. He said that the bell was the only thing he bought. Jimmy told me that he wasn't sure to give it to in his older age and wondered if I wouldn't mind having it. If it didn't offend me (cute).

I was shocked and honored by this gift. It is in my window sill and when I get home I give it a little ring to remind me of my friends at the Towers and from where I was born.

Thanks Jimmy

Joy in "The Great State of Oregon"

Sunday I flew down to Sacramento/ Auburn to drive with my friend, Joy Barker, back up to Oregon. She came up to visit Monday-Thursday. Here are some pictures of our time at the coast.

Cheeeeeeeeese

Twin Rocks

Joy

seaweed

Hi, Brian

I have a crab

practicing yoga

got caught in the rain

Wet

Hair Again

I don't really like to style my hair just straight so I thought I'd post another one with my hair styled :)

Need for Change

I love that when you need to change something about yourself. . . your hair is always there to comply.

Yachats, A Happy Post

Here you go Kate. Here is your happy post. Love you.

Today, Kate and I went on an adventure in Yachats, OR. Some of you may not know where Yachats (pronounced "Yah Hots") is, well let me tell you, it's near Newport on the coast. Here are some photos from our adventure.

It was a beautiful drive over



A driving picture. . . my MO





Fishermen



Drift Inn



Crab Quesadilla and Fish/ Chips



Friends for almost 20 years. Crazy





Beautiful foggy coast



So. . . I loved this house and was about to take a picture of it when Kate said that there needed to be more pictures of me being taken. I went over to pose thinking she'd take a full shot. Nope. A nice close up :) Thanks Kate. J/k



Here's the house



More coast



Crazy "cactus" flowers



here is one blooming/ not dead



WHO KNEW!!!



"GEM of the Oregon Coast"





I know you can't tell but what they are actually swimming in is nasty polluted foamy water.



Kate



Many self portraits



The Sun



cool window house



Cool forest



Leaf Hat



Nymph House



Funny Story. . . Kate and I walked along the beach line and then crossed over the 101 to the forest reserve thingy. Well, the quickest way back was along the 101. . . so here we are hitchhiking(not really)back.




And what better way to finish a day at the beach. Tillamook Ice Cream.