I shink so: December 2007

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Oregon Winter

Mmmmmmmm . . . .what to say. . so here is my latest update. I am again doing an all nighter because I can't fall asleep/ don't want to sleep for 2 hours and then get up but I may. . . tomorrow my family is flying to Hawaii for a cruise!!! I'm sooooo excited. Actually I'd be happy staying here but it will be fun and I will be able to see friends in Hawaii too. Hopefully.

Update on Japan. . . . well, my loan company has said they will work with me about my payments so I'm not too worried about that BUT I still need to finda job when I return to Japan sooo. .. if I can find a job in January I will stay in Japan. I guess I need to process all my paper work a month before my visa expireds soooooo . . . .it will be Lord willing. We'll see. Please pray for me. I'd like to stay another year and it looks like it would work out if I can find a job to carry me till April. I have a company I would like to work with in April BUT I have to find a job till April. And my visa is going to run out in February. SO. . . again . . .Lord willing.

Here are some more pictures from today.

my friend Lindsay with my glasses on.

I got to have lunch with my friend Stephen from Santa Barbara.

Lindsay and I went to the Red Thai Room in Silverton.

our pretty drinks :)

Craigy poo and Noomy (or like I like to say Croomy)

We then headed to teh Silvergrill to listen to some live music and sip on cider

Me and my cider

By Oregonians. Love you all.

Post Christmas

Hello friend and family!

I just have a bunch of pics from after Christmas and wanted to share them with you.

Here is my friend, Aubrey, and her family drinking Yurba Matte in a circle like good Paraguayans do :)

Isn't Dee cute

Isn't Austin. . so. . . .mmmm.. yeah

SNOW!!!!

Oregon

Me in a coon skin hat

Isn't the dog cute :)

Austin as a cowboy in the snow

my adorable niece!!!!

My friend Katie Saunders!!!

My friend Lindsay and I decided to drive up to P-town. . .

Here is the new sky lift to OHSU.

A Mt. Possy in the city.

Pioneer Square: To transport the tree they needed to remove the branches and reattach them after it was set up. The limbs were bolted into the trunk of the tree.

We then went to the Portland City Grill for Happy Hour. It was amazing to be up on the 30th floor.

DAY TIME:

NIGHT TIME:

LIndsay being Anti social and her Dad being an old fart ( you can't see him he's on the other line. . . and wouldn't come.)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Love

I was talking to a dear friend of mine(Sherrie Gillette) at my sister's wedding on the 23rd. we were talking about love and I told her that I have been pondering the idea of chosing who we love or if there is a choice. . .

So first off. . . God is love.

(oh, and it's almost 7am and I couldn't fall asleep. . . so if it's a bit delirious I blame the lack of sleep or the nail polish fumes in my room ;) )

He's all love. . . and the greatest love. . Agape love. Right? right.

So second. . .recently I haven't been so loving. . . most of my family already knows this. . . I got in an argument with my sister on Christmas about stuff and when I was apologizing I realized that most of my apology was "I , me, this is how I felt" and not "you or how do you feel" . My apology kind of sucked but she still forgave me for being a bitch. Thank God eh?

many things in the past few days since I came back have made me think more about my life and how much I'm holding on to my l ife and those I treasure in it. (again if t his gets off topic sorry)

On the 22nd I found out I was layed off, on the 23rd my sister got married, on the 25th I found out my job in April may not be available if I can't find someone to renew my visa in February, my boyfriend hasn't written me since I came home (not much new really. . .he sucks at emails but . . still), I still need to figure out my loans, etc. . . I lay on my bed with my mom and my niece crying wondering why life was suddenly sooooo hard. . . my mom said that's just how life goes sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's easy. Jasmine just smiled at me and gave me a hug which helped too. I love her soo much. After they headed to bed I couldn't sleep. . . so i started to journal (after watching a movie and writing on line).

I realized that I've been holding on sooo tightly to my life and not holding it with an open palm to the Lord. I was holding tight to: Tatsuya, Japan, my job, my homelife, my sister, etc. Not allowing God to move through my tight hands gripping my life as much as it could . . .trying to force things to happen or not happen. And if God is love and I wasn't allowing him into what is going on in my life then think of all the Non-love in my life. I realized again that once you let go and let God decide it makes life a lot easier and less stressful. I know there are starving children in the world and people are dying daily but I know that what is going on in my life is important to God. My feelings and emotions are important to him too. He cares what I think and feel and cares about me. He understands me. Even when I don't.

Oh, but what I was going to say about Sherrie's and my conversation was this. . . I was thinking about Tatsuya tonight becuase I wanted to talk to him about how i was feeling and going through and just to hear from him but I don't know if it's our emails or if he's just super busy or just being his old oblivious to emailing me self. . . but either way i was bummed that I haven't heard from him. I started to think about his and my relationship and reevaluated it. . . I still love him and it made me think . . .do we chose who we fall in love with?

i think we don't get a choice in the matter but we do have the choice of letting God lead you and guide you and rule over that love. What I mean is that I love Tatsuya but it doesn't mean I will chose to stay with him because if God does ask me to let go i will. . .why? because I love God and want him to be my guide. I love Tatsuya but I love God more. And you know what? God loves me and He loves Tatsuya WAY more then I do. . .and He wants the best for us both. Right now. . . he, Tatsuya, seems like the greatest thing since the washer and drier combo . . . but you try washing yoru clothes by hand for 10 months and then think about what love is. . .j/k. . .I ment to say that he seems like the best now and maybe he is but if he's not I don't need to worry because the Lord will bring something better a long for the both of us.

Anyways. . I'm tired now that it's 7:30 so I'm going to take a nap till 9am and then head to my massage with Lindsay Allen (which I recommend for anyone who needs a massage in oregon).

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." I John 4:7

Again. . .I pray that Tatsuya would know this Love and that I too would know Love better.

Christmas 2008

Merry Christmas Past! It's about 2:15 am right nwo but it's 7:16pm in Japan. . . and I took two siestas today. . . once after breakfast (I didn't stuff myself. . .just 1 cinnamin roll. . .not homemade) and then after dinner where I did stuff myself a bit :) Speaking of. .I want a cookkie. . hold on. . .okay I'm back. . . here goes Christmas.